A Rose by any other name......

I love observing people. Sometimes I make up stories about their lives, just to amuse myself. I also give them "names" which suit their personalities or looks, and over the course of a few months here in Florida, sitting at the swimming pool, I have privately, and quietly, given many of the residents names.

Such as "Ritalin Man" - the retired firefighter from Ohio who talks so fast that I defy anyone to understand a full sentence. When he moves it is at light speed with jerky movements of his arms and legs, and he seems unable to sit still for any length of time. His poor wife never says a word!

Then, there is "The Terrorist" - a rather large lady, Russian emigre, retired, from Chicago, who talks non-stop on her cell phone and sounds like a spy! She has flaming red hair, lips to match, smokes with a cigarette holder and portable ash-tray, and generally completely confuses the Americans. They mostly distrust her.

"The Mole" is the president of our condo board and, as most here would agree, is a generally bad-tempered person who rarely comes out of his dwelling. He walks with a cane, if and when he does come outside, and blinks rapidly into the sunlight, just like a mole emerging from its tunnel.

"The Webbed One" is sight to behold. She is a very large, white (i.e. not tanned) lady from Boston, who comes to the pool daily and "exercises" in the water with large, blue, rubber dumbells and brightly coloured, webbed gloves on her hands to help her swim! She is very bossy, and tries (without success) to organize everyone into doing things they don't want to do. Her husband, retired Boston cop, is the most bigoted person I have every met.

"Dracula" is a nice, retired trucker from New Jersey, who eschews sunlight at all costs. He comes to the pool with his wife, but sits under an umbrella in the darkest corner of the pool reading his New York Times. He is evidently happiest when darkness falls and he can walk around the complex without dodging into the shadows of the palm trees all the time to avoid the sunlight.

"Prince Philip" is a rather sad, old Italian man, who walks 10 paces behind his much younger wife, and sits alone, contemplating his navel. His wife, also Italian, has a sharp tongue, no sympathy for her "prince" whatsoever, and is not terribly friendly to anyone.

Last, but not least, we have "Thelma and Louise" - two very old ladies who both live here full-time. One is 92, swims every single day and rules the pool with an iron fist. She has also been named the "pool Gestapo", but together, she and her friend, the sweet Jewish lady of 88 from New York, make up the team of Thelma and Louise. Today, their conversation went like this...
Ruth: "Paula, you need to come in the pool"
Paula: " I don't want to come in the pool, I have things to do"
Ruth: "You are not listening to me"
Paula: "I listened to you all day yesterday. I am not coming in the pool"......

I am sure there will be more names to hand out in the next weeks as the place fills up with "Snowbirds" - the name given to the Northerners who seek the sunshine in Florida every winter.